tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6851448459618487484.post2123450102079081143..comments2013-11-28T09:28:12.029-08:00Comments on One fine day: PretendingAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06972049290586377462noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6851448459618487484.post-9910238273995685572012-10-16T01:47:09.320-07:002012-10-16T01:47:09.320-07:00Nothing against polishing. My problem is that as a...Nothing against polishing. My problem is that as a compulsive polisher I can polish until nothing remains, probably for want of substance in the first place. Your suggestions most welcome and as you say they point to mistakes which are not immediately apparent to the purpetrator. Regard these stories as part of a dialogue onshort story writing. Another one is on the way. I hope meanwhile that yours will continue though not at the expense of the current novel. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06972049290586377462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6851448459618487484.post-6027204112509741622012-10-16T00:21:33.054-07:002012-10-16T00:21:33.054-07:00In fact it was an accidental repetition, nothing s...In fact it was an accidental repetition, nothing sinister. I don't exactly understand what you have against "polish" (think of it as revision and you may find it easier to swallow) but at least it seems as if the drafts are open to factual addenda if not to syntactical rearrangement. I am delighted to learn that you are not averse to considering some of my light-hearted suggestions; how much easier it is to come up with these for you than it is to do it for myself. A case of the "author's cage" I suppose.Roderick Robinsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16828395545197001637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6851448459618487484.post-65007839134325385542012-10-15T09:33:00.249-07:002012-10-15T09:33:00.249-07:00 Curiosity drives me to say sorry that you removed... Curiosity drives me to say sorry that you removed your second comment. I have been meaning to reply to the first which is full of substance and leaves me inspired to add improvements and afterthoughts. The one consolation is that I can always return to the stories in time to make changes. In the meantime I am continuing to churn them out with the object of retaining a degree of spontaneity in exchange for too much polish, if there can ever be too much polish.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06972049290586377462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6851448459618487484.post-32008073662383690692012-10-12T10:00:20.397-07:002012-10-12T10:00:20.397-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Roderick Robinsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16828395545197001637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6851448459618487484.post-90410370074977597962012-10-12T09:58:16.922-07:002012-10-12T09:58:16.922-07:00Pretending. I am still concerned with style - your...Pretending. I am still concerned with style - yours as well as mine. Perhaps it's an unjustifiable obsession but the first third of this story has something in common with the few SSs I've read and the even fewer I've tried to write. The narrative bangs and bounces like the ball in a pin-ball machine, seemingly random but satisfying in the sequence of details the reader is offered; a mixture of different sentence lengths helps with this effect. <br /><br />It gets harder when the past is summarised. Or when abstractions are inescapable.<br /><br />Is pretending a precise enough single-word summary of his life. Should "pretending to be asleep" be closer to "never stopped pretending"<br /><br />Overall the sense of a narrative is sustained and that's difficut to discuss, let alone achieve.<br /><br />I am tempted to rewrite this on the basis of a tiny change to the note. "See you at the aiport. Carmen."<br /><br />Still counting. Fine. He's going potty and in an ironic way. There's this business of the seemingly inconclusive ending which requires thought (on the part of the reader) to create the conclusion. Might he move from counting the past to counting the future? Prediction, in fact. Real craziness.<br /><br />His son, the musician, is of course also a counter himself; musicians can't escape it. Best line: "made him smile as he remembered their context".Roderick Robinsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16828395545197001637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6851448459618487484.post-26919031389883926462012-10-12T02:16:54.492-07:002012-10-12T02:16:54.492-07:00Thank you Crow. I hope you will join the train. I ...Thank you Crow. I hope you will join the train. I so much enjoy your posts which recently have been all too few.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06972049290586377462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6851448459618487484.post-91679279014804723352012-10-11T03:40:41.580-07:002012-10-11T03:40:41.580-07:00I think this is the best one yet, Joe.
Thank you ...I think this is the best one yet, Joe.<br /><br />Thank you for starting this project. It has spurred my own desire to write again, reawakened the need.The Crowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04846997590157958766noreply@blogger.com